Smooshed Sandwich

These sandwiches only come once in a blue moon. And I regret to inform you that if you do NOT have a toddler in your house you just may very well never have one of these Smooshed sandwiches. Even if you DO have a toddler, you can't just have one of these anytime you want. You can only make these sandwiches if you have the opportunity. What makes this sandwich so special? Well like I said opportunity. You need to get all the ingredients out, and look away just for a second. But not for too long. And if you are lucky enough your toddler may very well take the bread off the counter and sit on it. The thing is if you look back too early the bread won't be smooshed enough, if you don't look soon enough, your bread will be too smooshed to make a sandwich. See where I am getting at here? It's all about timing, and no you can not give the bread to your toddler to sit on, it doesn't taste the same, nor do they put the right amount of pressure on it when you just hand them the loaf. See how rare this is?
Let's get on with it shall we?

2 slices of smooshed bread from your perfectly smooshed loaf of bread
Horseradish
real mayo
turkey
muenster cheese
lettuce
tomato slices
crazy Jane's salt


To assemble your sandwich-
Put your toddler on time out.
GENTLY pull the bread so it's somewhat normal looking. Try not to rip it, but if you do, as you can see it will look like you have decorated the top of the sandwich.
Spread some mayo and horseradish on the bread, not too much. The bread is probably thin from being sat on.
Top with the rest of the ingredients.
Place the other piece of bread on top.

Get the toddler out of time out...
Talk to him or her about why we don't sit on bread- even if you secretly are overjoyed you get smooshed bread. Pray with said toddler.
Eat your sandwich. Savor it. You may not get another loaf like this in a long time.